Present.Past.Future.

One more week. Another countdown has been in process since my countdown last month. But this one is most exciting. My sister and I are headed to Missouri for the weekend.

This time there will be a bigger impression. It’s a little different now since I know what’s headed my way in the future.

Until then I’ll be counting….

I’m excited. Jumping through the ceiling excited. Then someone said to me that I’m turbo. Not wanting to share the excitement with me.

Now this person didn’t know that they affected me by telling me that but it did. Now I have changed my mind almost completely.

This will affect me more.

There are some things that I do for others that I don’t expect a thank you for. I get satisfaction from doing the gesture on its own.

Then there are the other things, the simple things that mean a great deal to me that I do and they are turned unnoticed.

I’m frustrated and left feeling under appreciated.

Thank god for working out.

Don’t think of me as a “business opportunity.”

I am family which I have all the time in the world for.

Didn’t you think of that when you asked me for “;) dinner?” I live in the East Bay with two kids, work full time, husband, school, etc. I have time for family but no time or energy for B.S.

I’m sorry that I misunderstood you. I am not an opportunity. I am family.

Uncle Jeff (my mom’s ex-boyfriend) asked if we can come to dinner today around 7pm. The excitement of his text had me wondering. He texts a few moments later: You get to meet Rubi ;) Hmmm. 9:30 pm another text: That’s a good hint ;)

Okay my guesses: a) they’re engaged b) they’re having a baby

But then his email reply back to me says: We’re excited too!!! Thanks for coming out to listen to this…you’re gonna be excited too ;)

Now, with all those damn winks it has to be a marriage in the making. Right?!

Of all things it’s pizza for dinner and I’m watching what I eat.

I’m not ready to know. I already deny everything now. It is better to leave things as it is. Absence is easier to let go than go after. Facing it will only confirm everything I don’t want it to be. I’m not ready for the next step.